Scouts Guide to the Zombie Apocalypse
The film starts with Ron the janitor (Blake Anderson) jamming out to "Black Widow" in the halls of a research facility. He enters where Dr. Pieter Morris (Theo Kypri) is working on something. Pieter leaves to get a snack from the vending machine while Ron cleans up. He notices something behind a curtain. There, he finds a man hooked up to a machine with tubes, and his skin is pale and veiny. Ron grabs the man's wrist, and he twitches, making Ron stumble backwards and screw up the machine. As he tries to fix it, he then attempts to give the man CPR, until he sees his bleeding gums. He tries to resuscitate him with his hands, but they go through the man's stomach. The man jumps up and starts throwing Ron all over the room while Pieter is struggling to get a bag of chips out. As he tries to reach the bag, Ron emerges from the room all zombified and attacks Pieter. The bag then slowly drops to the bottom.
Three boy scouts and childhood buddies - Ben (Tye Sheridan), Carter (Logan Miller), and Augie (Joey Morgan) - are with their Scout Leader Rogers (David Koechner) for scouts registration day. Unfortunately, only one kid is there, and he leaves after watching the corny video. Although discouraged, Rogers reminds the boys that tonight is a special night for Augie, since he's getting his Condor Badge.
While driving home, Carter tells Ben that they need to tell Augie that they want to quit being scouts, despite sticking around for the last two years after the death of Augie's dad. Carter is more interested in hooking up with girls, while Ben thinks they should stick around for their buddy. Ben then hits a deer on the road, causing a flat tire. As they change it, Carter sees his sister Kendall (Halston Sage) arriving with her boyfriend Jeff (Patrick Schwarzenegger) and friend Chloe (Niki Koss). Ben has a crush on Kendall, despite her seeing him as a little brother and Carter not knowing. While Ben talks to Kendall, Carter chats up the other two and gets an invitation to a secret senior party that night. Ben then notices that the deer is not in the same spot where it fell. Thinking the party could be life-changing for them, Carter tells Ben that they can go to Augie's badge ceremony and sneak out to the party when he's asleep. Ben drives Carter home where they run into his grouchy elderly neighbor Ms. Fielder (Cloris Leachman), who tells Carter to keep his garbage bins away from her driveway.
In the woods, Rogers walks and finds Pieter's badge. He sees something rustling in the bushes. The deer emerges in its zombie state and tries to get Rogers. He stabs the deer in the eye with his lucky knife, only to then get his throat bitten out by zombie Pieter.
On the way to the ceremony, Ben and Carter stop by the liquor store so Carter can give a drunken bum $20 to get them beer. This backfires since the man makes a ruckus in the store. Passing by is Denise (Sarah Dumont), a girl that supposedly dropped out from the boys' high school and became a stripper. Ben meets her when the handle of her purse breaks, so he fixes it with a special knot. Denise notices that Carter is trying to get the money back from the bum, so she goes in and coolly grabs the money and gets the beers for the boys before heading to work at the strip joint across the street, Lawrence of Alabia (seriously).
Ben and Carter meet Augie in the woods where he's already getting his camping gear ready. The boys hang out and goof off all afternoon until it gets dark. They light a fire and roast marshmallows. When Carter leaves for a bit, Augie expresses his joy at getting to hang out with his friends, making Ben feel a little guilty about wanting to leave.
After Augie falls asleep, Carter gets Ben and they drive away, only for Augie to show up on the road. He knows about the party, and while he's heartbroken and disappointed, he tells the guys to go anyway.
Ben and Carter stop at the liquor store for a moment. Ben sees that the glass door has been shattered. Carter sees that the bouncer at the strip joint is missing. He gets Ben to go inside with him. Carter runs to get money from the ATM while Ben sits by the stage. A stripper comes out and does a dance, though she is already a zombie. When Carter shows up, the zombie stripper climbs the pole, and blood spurts from her open neck wound. The boys run and find the bouncer is a zombie too. He chases Ben into the bathroom while Carter hides from the stripper. She pulls him out from behind the bar, but Carter kills her by sticking a broken glass bottle in her head (which causes blood to pour from the open wound onto his face). Denise (who is really a cocktail waitress) appears with a shotgun and blasts the bouncer's head off.
The three run outside, and the boys slowly realize that they are indeed dealing with a zombie breakout. They run to Ben's car as a horde of zombies approach. Ben drives like crazy out of there, causing his spare tire to fall off. Denise holds off the zombies as the boys quickly replace the tire before they drive away.
Augie goes to Rogers' home. He sees nobody there other than a weird collection of Dolly Parton items. Augie then goes to take a dump and returns to the living room to find zombie Rogers. He chases Augie through the house all the way to the basement where Augie grabs a can of lighter fluid and a gas lighter to set his scout leader on fire. He then ties Rogers up and leaves.
Ben, Carter, and Denise go to the sheriff's department and see a sign that says the town's been evacuated. The zombie horde gets closer, and the three run inside. The cops have been zombified as well, forcing them to lock themselves in a cell. Augie later shows up after seeing Ben's car and blasts "Crank Dat Soulja Boy" to distract the zombies. As the zombies leave, the three try to get the key from the wall. Ben uses Carter's condoms as a chain and manages to grab the keys until Augie shows up and accidentally kicks them into a drain pipe. Fortunately, Augie picks the lock with his knife. A zombie comes in, but Ben impales it through the head. They head out.
The four walk down the road and encounter the drunken bum as a zombie. Augie attempts to assert himself using his scouts knowledge, leading him and Carter to sing "Baby One More Time" with the zombie after they notice his Britney Spears shirt. A bullet then goes through the bum's head, fired by a soldier. He takes the four to the address that Carter was given for the party so they can save Kendall. However, Jeff gave Carter the address to a sewage plant (because it's "full of shit"). Augie tells Carter now he knows what it's like to be screwed over. Carter then admits that he and Ben were already planning to quit being scouts. This makes Augie tell Carter that Ben has a crush on Kendall, angering Carter. To make things worse, they hear on the radio that the town is to be bombed in less than two hours. As the boys fight, the soldier turns into a zombie and attacks Denise. The boys help her, and she smashes the zombie's head with the car door. Carter deduces that Kendall probably wrote the location of the party in her diary, so they take the truck to his house.
Back in the boys' neighborhood, they encounter Rogers, half-burnt, and they run him over. They go into Carter's house to find the diary. They look through Kendall's room until they hear a noise from downstairs. Carter and Augie go to check it out. Denise then sees a picture of Kendall and understands why Ben has a crush on her. Noting his lack of confidence, she tells Ben to kiss her. He tries but accidentally headbutts Denise. She then does it for him.
Zombies break into Carter's home, including Ms. Fielder. She attacks Carter and tries to literally eat his ass until he and Augie force her against a window to break it and then chop her head off. More zombies attack. The gang fights them and run toward Kendall's room to jump on the trampoline and over the fence. Carter, Denise, and Augie go ahead with Ben going last. As the zombies break into the room, Kendall's diary falls out of the underwear drawer. Ben grabs it and goes to jump, but there are too many zombies on the trampoline, and too many in the room. Ben prepares to jump but nearly slips until he grabs hold of something...a zombie penis. The penis rips off, and Ben falls on the trampoline after Denise distracts the zombies.
The gang runs into Ms. Fielder's home where they encounter her zombie cats. After escaping them, they head into the garage and steal her car before getting out of there.
The boys learn that the party is at a rec center. Denise finds a motorcycle and goes to get help. Ben gives his friends a rousing speech on how they're going to kick zombie ass and save their friends. They stop at a hardware store and grab many supplies before heading to the party.
At the party, Chloe and her boyfriend Travis (Lukas Gage) go into a room so Travis can have sex with Chloe. She refuses but allows him to eat her out. A zombie with no lower jaw enters and kills Travis. He eats Chloe out for a bit before turning her into a zombie. Kendall is worried about her brother, until Jeff admits he gave Carter the wrong address. Pissed, Kendall leaves. Jeff tries to hold her back, but she slaps him. He pushes Kendall as zombie Chloe enters and attacks Jeff. Kendall runs away, only to see that more zombies are coming. When it looks like she's done for, the scouts arrive to lay waste. Ben mows the zombies down with a weed whacker, Carter has a nail gun, and Augie has a gun that shoots heavy balls. Carter "nails" Chloe in the head, while Ben decapitates Jeff. The boys lead the survivors to the stairs while Ben rescues Kendall. He stays behind to lock the doors while his friends run toward a room. Augie places a bomb that he made on the floor and tries to light it. Ben makes another speech on how he and Carter were jerks for trying to ditch Augie and that he really loves being a scout because that's how he became friends with them. Denise shows up and guides the boys out through a slide. At the last minute, Augie lights the bomb and gets out before it goes off and blows up the zombies. The last one is Rogers on the outside, but he's blown up by a grenade. The military finally arrives to save the day.
The morning comes, and Denise encourages Ben to go after Kendall. Without a second thought, he walks up to her and kisses her passionately. Augie thinks it's sweet, but Carter is displeased.
During the end credits, we see the gang's selfies, including Ben taking Kendall to prom and Denise hanging out with the guys. After this, we see outside the rec center where Rogers' head is still alive. A bird poops on him and he goes, "Come on..." before turning to the audience and saying "The end!"
